Kabla ya ndoa jiulize, kwa nini umempenda?

Uamuzi wa ndoa si wa kujaribu. Unatakiwa kujihakikishia kwamba ni kweli umevutiwa na kila kitu cha mwenzako, kwamba utakuwa naye katika shida na raha. Hayo ndiyo mambo ya kuzingatia.
Nimeshaandika mengi kuhusu sifa za anayetakiwa kuoa au kuolewa, lakini nasogea mbele zaidi na kuangalia sababu za kumpenda mtarajiwa wako katika ndoa.

Zipo sababu za msingi sana ambazo unatakiwa kuwa nazo kabla ya kuingia kwenye ndoa ambayo mimi hapa kwenye All About Love naiita kifungo!
Twende tukaone.


KWA NINI UJIULIZE

Lazima nifafanue hili kwanza kabla ya kuendelea. Hivi unafikiri ni kwa nini ni lazima kujiuliza sababu za kumpenda mwenzi wako?
Yes! Ni kwa lengo la kujiwekea usalama katika ndoa yako ijayo. Kujiandalia amani na pumziko la kweli. Kwenye mapenzi ya dhati pekee ndipo vinapopatikana vitu nilivyotaja hapo juu.

Kwa maneno mengine kuwa na majibu ya swali linalosomeka kwenye kichwa cha mada hii ni kujihakikishia ndoa bora. Tuendelee kujifunza.

NI MWENZI WA NDOTO ZAKO?
Jambo kubwa kuliko yote ambalo unatakiwa kuliangalia kwa jicho la tatu ni kama mwenzi huyo ni wa ndoto zako. Je, yukoje? Rafiki, siku zote kabla ya kuamua kufanya chochote lazima ujiulize kama ndicho ulichokuwa ukikifikiria.
Hata kwa upande wa mwenzi wako, lazima ujiridhishe, ni kweli ni yule uliyekuwa unamtarajia? Ana sifa unazohitaji? Acha tabia ya kujifariji kwamba utampenda taratibu ndani ya ndoa, hicho kitu hakipo.

Hakuna kujifunza kupenda katika ndoa, lazima ujihakikishie mwenyewe kuwa mwenzi wako ni yule mwenye sifa ulizokuwa ukizitarajia. Hili ni la msingi, maana unaweza kuwa naye siku mbili, ukatamani mwingine nje, kwa nini? Kwa sababu si yule mwenye sifa ulizotarajia.

NI SURA, UMBILE?
Kuna baadhi ya watu utawasikia wakisema: “Mpenzi wangu ananivutia sana, yaani ni mzuri sana. Najua hata nikitoka naye, marafiki zangu watanisifia kwa kuchagua vizuri...”
Hizi ni fikra potofu ndugu zangu. Mapenzi ya kweli hayapo kwenye sura wala umbile la mtu. Vipo vigezo vya muhimu kabisa vya kuzingatia tofauti na uzuri wa sura.

Sura hubadilika ndugu zangu, binadamu wanazeeka, kuna kuugua na matatizo mengine ambayo yanaweza kubadilisha mwonekano ambao ulikuvutia. Je, yakitokea ndiyo utakuwa mwisho wa kumpenda?
Kama leo hii unamuoa kwa sababu umevutiwa na matiti yake madogo, akishazaa na kunyonyesha kisha yakaanguka, ndiyo mwisho wa kumpenda? Umempendea ngozi yake nyororo, akipata ‘aleji’ ya mafuta, ngozi ikaharibika na kuwa na mabakamabaka utakuwa mwisho wenu?

Wewe mwenye mpango wa kuolewa na mwanaume mwenye kigezo cha kifua cha kimapenzi, kesho akifutuka na kuwa na kitambi utamuacha? Rafiki yangu, kiukweli ni kwamba kigezo cha uzuri wa sura na umbile si sahihi kabisa katika kuchagua mwenzi. Vipo vitu vingine muhimu zaidi vya kuangalia.

Diamond kutiwa mbaroni..

Asiyefunzwa na mamaye, ulimwengu lazima itamshikisha adabu, ‘bwa mdogo’, Naseeb Abdul ameota mapembe, umaarufu mbuzi alionao umempa kiburi, akajiona mbabe kuliko Tyson, akampiga mwandishi wa habari lakini mwisho akapewa kibano na kulala lupango.

Tukio hilo, ni nuksi ya kwanza kwa Diamond mwaka 2012, kwani baada ya kuibua rabsha nzito ya kumdhalilisha Mwandishi wa Habari wa Global Publishers & General Enterprises Ltd, Iringa, Francis Godwin, alishuhudia mkesha akiwa ‘ubayani’ a.k.a kwenye kinyesi.

Chanzo cha Diamond kuswekwa rumande na kuukaribisha mwaka akiwa lupango ni ujasiri wa kizamani alionao ‘janki’ huyo ambao ulimtuma kumpa kichapo Francis, kumnyang’anya kamera, kufuta picha na kuivunjilia mbali.

DIAMOND ALIITAFUTA SHARI IKIWA MBALI
Desemba 31, 2011, Diamond alitakiwa kutumbuiza kwenye shoo ya kuuaga mwaka kwenye Uwanja wa Samora, Iringa.

Shoo hiyo, iliyoandaliwa na mwanamuziki wa siku nyingi wa Bongo Fleva, Mike Mwakatundu ‘Mike T’, ilishindwa kufanyika kutokana na muingiliano wa ratiba.

Kwa mujibu wa menejimenti ya uwanja huo, shoo ya akina Diamond ilitakiwa kufanyika kuanzia saa 8:00 mchana na kufikia tamati saa 12:00 jioni, kisha kupisha tukio lingine la mkesha wa mwaka mpya ambalo liliratibiwa na Umoja wa Makanisa.

Tukio la mkesha, lilitakiwa kuanza saa 12:00 jioni hadi saa 6:00 usiku na mgeni rasmi alikuwa Mkuu wa Mkoa wa Iringa, Christine Ishengoma.

Hata hivyo, shoo ya mchana ilishindwa kufanyika baada ya Diamond kuchelewa kufika uwanjani.
Diamond, alifika uwanjani saa 11:50 jioni na mpaka anajiandaa kupanda jukwaani, tayari muda ulikuwa umemtupa mkono.

Baada ya mashabiki kutangaziwa kuwa Diamond hataweza kuimba kwa sababu muda umemtupa mkono, vurugu zilitawala, huku mwanamuziki huyo akilazimishwa apande jukwaani kwa nguvu.

Kutokana na hali hiyo, Diamond alipanda jukwaa lililokuwa limeandaliwa na Umoja wa Makanisa kwa ajili ya shughuli ya mkesha kwa lengo la kuwaridhisha mashabiki lakini menejimenti ya uwanja, ilimshusha haraka kwa sababu ilikuwa ni kinyume na makubaliano.

Wakati Diamond anashushwa jukwaani, paparazi huyo ‘alimfotoa’ za harakaharaka, kitendo ambacho mwanamuziki huyo hakukubaliana nacho.

Bila woga wala simile, Diamond alimvaa Francis na kumpa kipigo, kisha akamnyang’anya kamera, akafuta picha kabla ya kuipiga chini na kuivunja.

Katika tukio hilo, Diamond alisababisha upotevu wa kamera hiyo ambayo thamani yake ni shilingi 1, 500,000 simu aina ya Nokia yenye thamani ya shilingi 300,000, pia mwanamuziki huyo aliiharibu kompyuta mpakato (laptop) ya mwandishi huyo aina ya Acer.

Baada ya kadhia hiyo, paparazi huyo alikwenda kuripoti polisi kabla ya Diamond kubebwa msobemsobe hadi Kituo cha Polisi Kati alikolala kuanzia jioni ya Desemba 31, 2011 hadi Januari Mosi, 2012 mchana ambapo aliachiwa kwa dhamana.

Tukio hilo, kwa wengine limechukuliwa ni laana ya kusemwa vibaya na warembo ambao amekuwa akiwachanganya kimapenzi.

Hivi karibuni, ulizuka mzozo mkubwa baina ya ma-Miss Tanzania 2006-07, Wema Sepetu aliyebeba taji na mshindi wa pili, Jokate Mwegelo, ikidaiwa kwamba wote wawili, Diamond amewachanganya kimapenzi.

Well she's never been shy! Rihanna flashes her flesh, and a nipple ring, as parties in sheer dress at P Diddy's bash

She is never one to shy away from showing off her fabulous figure in revealing ensembles. 

But as well as showing off her shape Rihanna displayed her body jewelry as she stepped out at P. Diddy's New Year's Eve party in Miami last night. 

The 23-year-old proudly displayed her nipple ring in the plunging lace number, which left little to the imagination.

Showing some front: Rihanna stepped out in a sheer lace dress last night which left little to the imagination at P. Diddy's party

Wiz Khalifa && Amber Rose In Da’ Club

It’s 2012, and it seems that Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa are still going strong. They were spotted at ‘Vanity‘ at the Hard Rock Hotel on New Years day, looks like they were giggling and have themselves a nice ole’ time. They were there supporting Drake as he hosted the event.

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon Spotted in Aspen on New Year’s Eve With The Twins

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were spotted wtih their two adorable twins, Moroccan and Monroe in Aspen, CO on New Year’s Eve. Stopping off at Mariah’s mom’s jewelry store, the lovebirds posed for pictures before heading in for a visit with grandma. The family-of-four have been spending the holiday season – including the twins’ first Christmas! – in the celebrity hotspot

'I got changed in front of him and he didn't look': Kim Kardashian strips in closet to 'test' if pal Jonathan Cheban is gay

Any red blooded male might struggle to avert their eyes if Kim Kardashian stripped down in front of them.
Which was clearly what the reality star was thinking as she got changed in front of pal Jonathan Cheban - to gauge whether or not he is gay.
The 30-year-old TV star was in the closet, so to speak, of her New York hotel and decided to carry out the 'test' after Kris Humphries gets her thinking about her friend's sexual orientation.

Kris is convinced PR guru Jonathan is homosexual - and tells him as much - but Kim is not so sure, saying they have never talked about his private life before.

The results of her little striptease - which aired last night in an episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York - are inconclusive, however. Jonathan averts his eyes when she strips to her bra.

But later Kim tells Kris: 'I got changed in front of him to see if he would look but he didn't.'

Hugging it out: The reality star quizzes the PR guru about what he looks for in a partner

Thanks for the compliment: He responds by telling her he is attracted to light skin and a big behind, which Kim takes to mean her

However, she concluded, he could have just been being polite and courteous.
During their closet encounter, Kim quizzes Jonathan about what he looks for in a partner.
He jokes: 'Light skinned, big ass,' to which Kim jokes back: 'What if we are in love with each other.'
Later, in an apparent bid to prove he is straight, Jonathan goes on date with woman.

Dinner date: Kim and Kris join Jonathan at his apartment for dinner

Look who is here: He invites a girl along who he says he is taking out on a date

Kim and Kris meet her at his home before they go out - where Kris again asks Jonathan about his sexual preference.
While Jonathan remained rather elusive about his sexual orientation, he apparently wanted to prove conspiracy theorist Kris wrong, whose suspicions were alerted after accompanying Kim and Jonathan on a trip to a candle shop.
While Kris sat their looking bored, Jonathan appeared to enjoy perusing all the scented products on offer, which Humphries finds odd.
Whatever the case, Jonathan was last week spotted in Miami soaking up the sun with a mystery brunette where they put on an affectionate display.

Soaking up the sun: Cheban was spotted last week in Miami with a mystery brunette