Healthy is the New Skinny

“Healthy is the new skinny.”

When that inspirational quote popped up on my Pinterest feed last week, I rolled my eyes so hard they’re only just back to normal. No, I am not anti-health. But that new, oft-repeated sentiment (,which, by the way, has also been co-opted by a modeling agency) is pretty hollow. The backlash against fat phobia and fad diets has caused those that profit from women’s insecurities to be more careful with their words. Now, it’s not about hating your body, but supposedly loving it and wanting to be healthy.

 But the reality is, in most cases, healthy is just the new way to say skinny. Health becomes a cudgel to make skinniness a moral imperative. (You know you need to be on a diet. Do you want diabetes?) Women are still encouraged to judge their health based on adherence to a narrow body standard and not more important markers, such as blood pressure, cholesterol levels, A1C results, the ability to move, soundness of overall diet, etc. And there is no acknowledgment of differing body types or that a woman can be big and healthy, too.

Whirlwind Romance: Could You Do It?

I was always a very practical dater. I thought love at first sight was a naive fantasy. I didn’t believe in trying to groom a partner. What you meet is what you get; there is no point trying to change a man. I didn’t believe in living together, intertwining finances and lives without some sort of commitment. I wasn’t keen on long distance romances. Bottom line, I wasn’t one for taking chances. In love, like most other things, I was boringly responsible. (I think it’s the eldest child in me.) I tell you all this, partly, in my defense. Because here’s the real: On July 4, 2000, in Chitown, this cute guy offered to help carry my bags at the University ofChicago/59th St. train platform. On September 16, we were engaged. If you’re keeping track, that’s about two months later. It was a whirlwind romance.

Now, we weren’t dumb kids, my sweetie and I. We were both in our 30s when we met. We’d been around and knew what we wanted and needed in a lifelong relationship. By the time my then-boyfriend proposed, with roses and a ring before a boat ride on the Chicago River, we had discussed the big stuff: religion, goals, finances, gender roles, politics, and family. I had met his family and he had met mine. To my surprise, I had found a man who understood my diverse (and sometimes weird) interests. He had me ensnared on our second date, a movie night when he brought over the black film classic, A Cabin In The Sky, and Monty Python’s Holy Grail. He digs black history and British comedy. And knows all the words to that cheesy, ’70s song, “Please Come To Boston.” Guuuurrrrllll … I was hooked.

Would You Change How You Dress For Your Partner?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s relationship elicits negative responses for a number of reasons. In some corners, their pairing is seen as a publicity stunt; in others, it’s viewed as disrespectful to Kim’s ex, Kris Humphries, to whom she is actually still married. But recently, critics have also pointed out that Kim has been dressing differently since she’s starteddating Kanye West. Her clothes have gotten tighter and move revealing, she seems to be confused as to what season she’s in, and she is almost perpetually stuck in a neutral tone palette. Not only has her fashion changed, but in addition to quoting rap verses, she’s now trying her hand at cooking soul food. Pause for effect.

By the same token, Meagan Good, who just married Devon Franklin, a Seventh Day Adventist pastor, is criticized for not changing her look once they started dating. Good has an affinity for plunging necklines, leggings, and dresses with short hems, and critics believe she should abandon those styles now that she is romantically involved with a man of God.


Many women have found their style influenced by a love interest, whether it’s changing a small facet of their looks or embracing a completely new look. And there are still some women who would never compromise their sense of style for someone else, no matter how serious the relationship.

LOOK OF THE DAY

Summer Weaves 101

For my ladies who love their weaves all year round, this hot weather may create a bit of a problem for you. With the summer heat ablaze, it is harder than usual to maintain a fresh and natural weave. There is nothing worse than a sweaty, smelly, itchy, matted nest sitting on the top of your head when you’re trying to be fly and enjoy the warm summer weather. If you’re not willing to forgo your sew-in this season, you could spend your days indoors next to your air conditioner, or you could follow our tips on how to keep your weave right and tight all summer long.

First thing you want to do when wearing a weave this summer is to invest in good hair. Although the quality of your weave hair should always be top of mind, in the summertime this is particularly important. Cheap weave hair tends to mat and tangle very easily. Add extra sweat and hot temperatures and you’re asking for trouble. Look for soft hair textures where the cuticles are aligned. This will do wonders and prevent major birds’ nests from erupting.

You might also want to think about purchasing a wavy or curly texture in the summer. Not only are beach waves extremely sexy, but if your actual hair is curly, on those humid days, your weave will naturally curl and blend with your leave-out.

Rihanna For Harper’s Bazaar August 2012

 Rihanna looks stunning on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar US for their August 2012 cover wearing a simple Calvin Klein dress and Neil Lane bracelet. In fact she is stunning throughout the editorial shot by Camilla Akrans. Even when wearing uber-sexy looks by Tom Ford, Balmain, Alexander Wang, Paco Rabanne and Ralph Lauren, the singer still looks soft, serene and approachable. It’s refreshing to see this side to her. I adore the fresh-faced makeup they opted for on this occasion. The bronze eyes and lip colour is to die for. The singer talks to the mag about sex, music and living life in the public eye. You can read some extracts below. Be sure to buy this issue of Harper’s Bazaar which hits newsstands on July 17: